Mr. Right

Hey Mr.Right

 Can you believe it's been a year   since the last letter ! How is life on the left ? Treating you any better than it did last year? Still looking for me?
My life hasn't changed as much...at least that's what I think. There seems to be lots and lots more work daily and yet the money seems to be flying away. We will of course blame it on inflation and our ever increasing needs.
This has been somewhat a year of discovery. ( I think that is to be said of every year). But it has been a year of realizations, some dreams coming true, discovering surprise talents, a number of pit falls but hey got up with no broken bones ...

I have also got lost on a number of occasions , in this whole realization journey. I am told it's to be expected , but you must know much setbacks suck....
In response to last year's letter..http://lubwa.blogspot.ug/2014/10/dear-mr-right.html  I think I am wiser now and I am certain the butterfly in the stomach phenomenon is for fairy tales (Damn Walt Disney). Lots of marriage advise coming my way this year.(a better part of the age mates are clocking out of the single's club)and everyone seems to say the same thing ...you work hard at it  and along the way he blows you away enough to feel the butterflies.

I am still praying for God to mold me, for a lot of things.The good book says  We make our plans but God directs our paths. So, yes I have plans,a good number with you in them , but will wait it out as God helps a chica figure things out. I pray God is  molding you as well to be a great husband , father and provider.

Key things..I love to laugh..So God best have your humor taps flowing on over drive...or maybe just flowing.We all know that saying about too much  of everything.

Take care and May God's blessings and favor  be upon you...
So...this is enough mushiness to last us another year.

Growing up is a trap.

Dear child,
This is your beloved mother extending her wisdom or cruel experience to you. One of your aunties has the habit of  using the  phrase "growing up is a trap" and over the last few years,I  think we are beginning to think alike.
You will be carried in my womb for nine months, and while in there I urge you to enjoy yourself, because the real world is crazy. You are going to learn to breathe on your own, cry when you want to be breastfed and basically for a while crying is going to be your only form of communication. I am certain on some days I will want to just relax and you are crying and knowing me,we might both end up crying.

You are going to be anxious to walk, in a bid to be self independent, and that is when things get a little interesting for you.As soon you you start to walk, no one will carry you as much. TRUST ME when, I say you are going to miss it.

Then you will want to  go to school so badly, and I will be worried about you being bullied, falling in the field, and so forth  but after a few falls and bruises we will all get over it and soon showing mummy the scratch won't get you much empathy.
There is a bubble of joy in every child when they start school, and my love enjoy the days of reciting the alphabet , doodling and singing rhymes. Things get real as you progress and soon you will be reciting chemistry periodic tables, cramming weird color changes and reactions in chemistry labs. There will be critical grammatical days in English that will determine the difference  between a D1 and D2 and allow me tell you grades matter. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
The child with good grades , gets a copious amount of pocket money, and tends to be mummy and daddy's child.

You will hate being dependent on me  during your teenage years. You will say things like, "when I grow up". When this stage happens, Stop and start to enjoy being dependent, having someone to  provide you pocket money, someone to discipline you and yell at you, someone who in a bid to show you they love you will embarrass you.( happens a lot to mothers I can't think I will be any different.)
ENJOY having a structure in your life and someone to account to.

Soon enough you won't need  mummy as much, or so you think.! You will go to campus and enjoy, setting your own rules,  being a rebel and cutting a few lectures, until it starts to reflect in your GPA and you will be  afraid of bad grades, which lead to a mediocre job and finally an average life, which is very far  from your dreams as a ten year old child.
Soon enough you will be out of campus and with a job, and you can purchase ,the shoes you dream of and so forth.
 A reminder: While you dream as an ten yr old about living in a dream house, you might consider dreaming about the rent and utilities,because, when you start paying for rent, water, electricity,the government is taking off its  taxes, KCCA as well, and you finally look at you paycheck and think what happened to all the money.
 That is the moment you will remember how nice it was that mummy and daddy paid all the bills and still gave you pocket money when you are still at home.

You will want to continue with school and no more money from the parents to further your education, so you have  three options either fund yourself back to school, company you are working for also funds ( but usually with very stringent stipulations) or get a scholarship... ( See how the grades matter?)

But life is not all bad , its a rosy garden. sweet smelling garden that is optically nutritional but thorny. You will make crap decisions at times and want the ground to swallow you. You will lose a great number of friends for various reasons. You will not have as much time for family as you hoped and a host of other things
.
Its actually fun as well, learning to do things on your own, paying your first bill ! making savings ( this one is very important), and just finding your way in the world. I know you will be a tough cookie, one who takes everything in stride and learns from her mistakes to make better choices. I can't always shield you from the world and its dangers,and that's the beauty of growing up. mustering the guts, to stand on your own two feet and relishing it.

My Most Important advise would be to stand with God, your mother doesn't know it all, and I am certain there are days the level of crapiness in the world will be overwhelming. Stand with God. He got this. I hope in my duty as your mother , I will instill loving God in you from day one.
I love you lots and maybe the next letter , will be when Mr. right is here and I will be giving you dating and marriage tips.Or the letter could be sooner, something might grab my attention and KNOWING  how risk averse I am. I will want to warn you in advance.
Mummy loves you lots and enjoy not being here yet.

x

All or nothing

Its an all out war....I just came to fight  with the wrong tools.....

Times are changing and i have either been reluctant or playing dead to the changes and finally its catching up with me.It has become a battle field for the wise, wittiest, smartest and most probably fastest. Might need to reassess my weapons to ensure i kick butt in this one.

The month has started off heavy so need to lace up my boots and get ready to throw down.

HER PROBLEM,MY BAGGAGE

It was  a dark night, too dark for my liking or maybe that is my fear speaking.I kept telling myself it had to be done, I mean someone had to do it, right? 
After the longest breath  I finally mustered the courage to take the final steps towards  the door. You must be wondering why a girl who is afraid of her shadow  is doing out in the middle of the night in a place unknown to her.

It all started on a Saturday. I woke up thinking it had been a while since I had such a peaceful night, that peace that prepares you for a war and YES  I am the paranoid type.
And to prove my point  not too long there was a frantic banging on my door, the sort of banging which conveys an urgency or maybe madness!

I made a dash for the door and there my sister stood , looking she had an encounter with the devil.Just so you know this is a common sight. So there was no need to be alarmed or so I thought. 

Runda quickly made her way in and made her self comfortable, then she broke the news. She had had an ugly  fight with a her new boyfriend and wasn't sure whether he was alive. she had had one of her rage moments and struck him with the rolling pin. she calmly adds that he was bleeding profusely before he drove off and that was two days ago.

So her reason for  almost breaking my door was to be reassured that she wasn't a killer not that the man she had been 'so-in-love' with  a week ago was missing.

Her reason for not calling him to find out anything  or if he were OK was quite simple really he bled too much and someone had to clean it up. Does that take two days?

My sister was born with an enviable calm or should I say an ability to lay her problems on someone else to solve. So while I slaved away making calls she sat reading a book while sipping on a cup of chamomile tea.

With the calls taking at-least half a day I finally end up at this door to hopefully find that Micheal hasn't decided to see the Lord yet......

to be continued